Be Careful Who You Choose — Chimamanda Adichie Warns Women Against Marrying Just to Belong

Celebrated Nigerian author and feminist voice Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is sending a powerful message to young women: know your worth and don’t marry out of fear.

Speaking at a recent student event, the award-winning writer emphasized the life-altering impact of choosing a partner, urging young women to resist societal pressure and desperation.

“It’s really important who you choose. It’s really important. Young women, choose wisely,” she said.

Adichie, known for her unapologetic voice on women’s rights and identity, didn’t mince words.

“Sometimes as young women, you can tell that the person you’re with is not really a good person, but you’re desperate to get married. You’re desperate to have somebody who’s your partner. Don’t settle. Be very careful who you choose,” she advised.

“The person you choose as your life partner will make a huge difference in your life. If you choose somebody who’s kind, supportive, it will make all the difference. So I can tell you that I chose well, there are some good men left.”

Her words come not just as marital advice, but as a broader call to intentionality—echoing her recent reflections on reclaiming her Igbo identity. The author recently revealed that she re-embraced her traditional name, “Chimamanda,” after years of feeling disconnected from it, a move symbolizing personal clarity and cultural pride.

Adichie, who has been married to Nigerian medical doctor Ivara Esege since 2009, is a mother of three, and has consistently used her voice to challenge harmful societal expectations placed on women, whether it’s in the home, the workplace, or the institution of marriage.