‘Forgive Me, or Not’- Akpoti-Uduaghan’s Letter to Akpabio

Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan, senator representing Kogi central, has issued a satirical apology letter to Godswill Akpabio, president of the senate.

Akpoti-Uduaghan had accused the senate president of sexually harassing her, days after their clash in the legislative chamber over seating rearrangement.

In the letter, Akpoti-Uduaghan expressed “deepest sarcasm and utmost theatrical regret” for “the grievous crime of possessing dignity and self-respect” in Akpabio’s presence.

“I now realize the catastrophic consequences of my actions: legislation delayed, tempers flared, and the tragic bruising of egos so large they require their own postcodes.”

“For this disruption to the natural order of “quid pro quo,” I bow my head in fictional shame.

“Please find it in your magnanimous heart — somewhere buried deep beneath layers of entitlement — to forgive this stubborn woman who mistakenly believed that her seat in the Senate was earned through elections, not erections.”

Akpabio’s team had described Akpoti-Uduaghan’s allegations as “baseless, false, and inflammatory” and threatened a formal letter demanding public retractions, apologies, and compensation for reputational damage. Akpoti-Uduaghan was later suspended from the senate for six months for “gross misconduct”.

THECABLE